What is temper tantrum?
Temper tantrums are prolonged emotional outbursts with relatively minor causes. These are seen primarily in the age group of 1-3 years but can occur earlier or later. Up to a limit, temper tantrums are considered a normal stage in the child’s development. Here, we will discuss in detail “How to handle temper tantrums?”.
Reasons
Before thinking of strategies to tackle temper tantrums, parents should understand why children are prone to these unpleasant outbursts.
From the child’s point of view, most of these tantrums are power struggles for control. As infancy (the 1st year) comes to an end and the toddler phase (the 2nd and 3rd years) begins, the child’s mental make-up changes. Many new skills are constantly being acquired, such as walking, running, speaking, feeding, and other daily activities. The child feels ready to take on the world with this repertoire.
I can do everything’ and ‘I can have everything is the child’s attitude, but this newfound confidence and independence are challenged by parental authority. Parents exercise their authority because they are unsure of their child’s ability or feel the activity might be dangerous or destructive. A child with an aggressive, active personality is more liable to feel frustration at such parental interference and might resort to tantrums.
Sometimes, these tantrums result from the child’s craving for parental attention.
Indulgent, ignorant, impatient, insensitive, and inconsistent parenting is often at the root of the problem of temper tantrums. Parents who lavish toys, sweets, and gifts without a reason: who allow certain liberties at times and then change the rules; who are too strict or too lenient; who are unhappy, fatigued, or impatient; who fail to understand the individuality of their children and who are prone to public displays of anger are the ones most likely to see tantrums in their children.
Frequent temper tantrums could sometimes be manifestations of a disorder or illness in the child, such as a hearing, speech, or vision problem; a learning disorder, a psychiatric illness, or any other chronic illness.
How to deal with toddler temper tantrums?
The first rule for managing a child’s temper tantrum is for the parent to keep cool.
Perhaps the best way to deal with it is to ignore the tantrum completely. Make no fuss and avoid any positive or negative reaction while remaining close by to make sure the child does not hurt herself.
If there is a possibility of injury to the child or others, remove the child from the place and bring her to a quiet, safe place. Try to distract her by changing the environment and offering a new interesting activity.
In either case, analyze the cause of the tantrum. If it is about some forbidden activity (e.g., “Don’t touch that thing!”), judge how significant that decision is for you and your child (a knife versus a spoon). If that activity is likely dangerous or destructive, stick to your decision but remove the desired object out of sight. Revise it if you feel, you have been too harsh in your original decision. Make sure to explain that you made the change based on your rethinking and not because of the pressure of the tantrum.
Reasoning or intelligent negotiations are not strong points of small children. So don’t waste your time doing that.
If you want to shout, keep it short and snappy. Express your anger and then leave the scene for a while to cool off.
Physical punishments are useless and might reinforce negative behavior.
In many children (older than two years), an option of a time-out alone to cool down is often possible. Praise them after they gain control.
Further investigations
Further psychiatric or medical investigations indicate in the following conditions:
· Too frequent, too severe, and too prolonged temper tantrums
· Destructive tendencies
· Frequent mood changes
· Anxious or withdrawn child
· Associated physical symptoms like headache, vomiting or speech, vision, or walking gait disturbances.
How to stop temper tantrums?
While temper tantrums are a normal stage in development, you could do certain things to prevent as many episodes as possible.
Define your disciplinary limits clearly and consistently. Remember that “She is still a kid’ and try to modulate her behavior. Every child is an individual, and you have to be flexible in your approach to control each one. Children should clearly understand that you love them. Express your love through words and deeds. Showering them with gifts and goodies is not necessary and is detrimental.
Make sure that your child’s sleeping hours are adequate for their age. Inadequate sleep leads to tiredness and crankiness.