Parenting Stress
Anger and anxiety, Doubts and despair, Fears and frustrations, Stresses and strains, Has life become too complicated for today’s parents? If what I see in my routine practice as a pediatrician, is any indication of a social trend, the answer has to be a very disturbing ‘yes’. In this article, we will discuss in detail about “Parenting Stress“.
Parenting stress in today’s fast-paced world presents unique problems, and although their solutions are not easy to find. It is important to identify these problem areas to devise a strategy to tackle them. What I am going to discuss here is not based on any social study reports but is just a personal reflection. Let’s discuss below.
Time factor
The traditional roles of the father as the provider and the mother as the nurturer- have become obsolete. Both parents working outside the home is now a rule rather than an exception in an urban household. Although this has made for more economic freedom for the family, the time together has been a casualty.
Television has already taken up a big chunk of family time, and now computers, mobile phones, and other gadgets have brought office work into the home, further reducing family interaction.
This time constraint is so severe that parents often see themselves struggling to balance career and child-rearing, with little or no time for pursuing their interests and hobbies that are important for self-development.
Lack of support
The disintegration of the joint family structure has taken away the role of elder relatives like grandparents in child care and development. Young, inexperienced parents find themselves unsupported and lonely in this respect. Even handling minor illnesses or other problems in the family often induces panic which could have been calmed by a soothing word from an older family member.
Relying on housemaids or unqualified daycare providers (babysitters) is an accepted norm for working parents. Practically none of these carers can offer quality care. The time the child spends with these caregivers usually proves unproductive developmentally as emotional attachment is often lacking.
Economic considerations
House rents, utility bills, school fees, medical care costs, etc. The amount of money required nowadays just for the subsistence of a family is substantial, and I am excluding savings and the occasional indulgences. Meeting these demands means working more and devoting less time to oneself and one’s family. It also means that both parents will have to work.
Educational load
Take a look at the number of textbooks and notebooks, or heft your child’s heavy school bag, to understand the woeful tale of today’s education system. The seemingly impossible load of information today’s school kids are expected to cram into their brains gives the parents a headache. Teaching unfamiliar subjects to kids, helping with their homework, and preparing them for exams are testing tasks for any parent.
Faulty health concepts
I see most of today’s parents as obsessively health conscious as regards their children’s health. It may be a direct result of the small family phenomenon. Parents are bothered by the slightest variation from the normal routine and often worry about non-existent health problems. Even in this age of information explosion, their medical knowledge is inadequate. Most of their medical concepts are half-baked amalgamations of their ideas and those of their equally ill-informed relatives and friends.
Most parents expect medicines for every possible complaint and are skeptical of the importance of preventive measures. Web searches have become their main sources of health education, but they often fall prey to false or incomplete information.
Attitude problems
‘Success at any cost’ and ‘wealth is health seem to be the mottos of the new age. Parents are pushing their children to go faster, higher, and longer right from the word ‘go’. Improbable goals are set and immeasurable pressures are put on oneself and the child.
Looking on the lighter side of life has almost become a thing of the past. A too-serious outlook on life has become commonplace. The fact that people need laughter clubs to laugh. It is an indication of this unhealthy outlook.
Solution
Life has become one big pressure cooker with a dysfunctional safety valve for all people. But more so for parents who have to think of their children’s future. I don’t think I have the authority or the experience to offer a solution to such a complex and global social problem. But as a socially conscious individual in the medical field, seeing stress taking its toll mentally as well as physically on families, I feel it my duty to at least point out the problem areas. Each family has its own set of problems that will have to be dealt with judiciously through a concerted effort by all family members. What kind of role model we choose to be for our children today will decide the shape of things to come tomorrow.